Kal Penn has an unconventional portfolio of works. It’s not every day that you see a comedian and actor take a position in the White House, then write a memoir where he discloses his homosexuality and decade-long relationship. His journey proves that Penn can never be pushed into a box. As the child of Gujarati immigrant parents growing up in New Jersey, none of his career choices was a usual choice. Everyone around him chose something traditional like medicine. Today, as an actor, author, and former White House staff member in the Barack Obama administration, he has broken all the molds with his free-wheeling nature.
At the Jaipur Literature Festival last month, we caught up with him to talk about his memoir and life.
When asked about the title of his memoir, You Can’t Be Serious, Penn shares, ‘In my whole life, people have told me that I can’t do something... So that’s sort of where the title came from.’ Growing up, many doubted his aspirations—from acting to working with the President of the United States. ‘A brown kid growing up in New Jersey? What do you mean you want to work for the President of the United States? You’re crazy. You can’t be serious.’ The title, he explains, encapsulates the skepticism and challenges he faced throughout his life—moments that shaped him into the person he is today.
In addition to navigating career challenges, Penn opens up about more personal aspects of his life in the book, revealing moments that were previously kept private. Reflecting on the process of writing about his personal experiences, he admits, ‘I think I was a little naive about the interest level of things.’ One of the more intimate chapters of the memoir is about the early days of his relationship with his partner, which he describes as ‘mostly a chapter about a date gone wrong and car racing.’ Penn emphasizes, ‘I’ve always tried to be respectful’ when it comes to the privacy of his family and loved ones. He continues, ‘They tend to not love the limelight... but they love coming in through the side door.’
Penn’s memoir is a delicate balancing act between humor, respect for those close to him, and the vulnerability of opening up to the public. The stories he shares are not just about fame and success but about the people who have supported him along the way. ‘Is there a sweet moment? Is there a joke or a funny story that I can tell that’s authentic to myself?’ he asks, reflecting on how he approached the process of sharing these stories.
The response from readers has been overwhelmingly positive, and Penn is grateful for the support. ‘It was wonderful, and I really have to thank the audience and the readers for taking such an interest in my stories.’
You Can’t Be Serious is more than just a memoir— it’s a story of resilience, overcoming doubts, and finding humor in the face of life’s unpredictability. Kal Penn’s journey serves as a reminder that sometimes, you really can be serious about the things that matter, even when the world tells you otherwise. With a humble, delicate, and humorous nature, Penn believes in being aspirational and finding the best in people, a quality that shines through in both his demeanor and words.
Words Paridhi Badgotri
Date 29.03.2025