Siddharth Chauhan started young. He made his first short film when he was in his teens and has not stopped rolling the camera since. He never went to film school. He learned everything on ground through experimenting and trying to understand the intricacies of the process. ‘This medium and the way it creates images takes people on some beautiful journeys — and that was magical for me. I knew it deep in my heart that I wanted to be this magician at any cost! It was very important for my existence,’ Siddharth tells me. His first short was called Boys Don’t Wear Nailpolish!, then he made a docu-fiction called An Infinite Space, and then Papa, which received rave reviews at festivals across India. Another short film by him, called Pashi, had its international premiere at the Oscar-qualifying Rhode Island Film Festival and is now streaming on MUBI.
The Film
Notice how a cat spots a mouse, moves closer, then halts to not distract the mouse, almost freezes, sometimes camouflaging itself, and then gathers itself to spring unleashing tremendous energy, expertise and strength! Animals 'enjoy' this process. I noticed myself deriving some kind of a thrill in watching this. I wanted my audience to experience just the same. It was exciting for me to do the same with characters who were human beings.
'Falling in love' in one's adolescence is such a unique experience. You have no idea what's happening to you, whether its you who's talking or the hormones. It’s an excellent mix of conscious, unconscious and subconscious feelings and reactions. This is what I wanted to capture in my film through the character of Ashish. And since I didn't have a cat but a human being playing my protagonist, I couldn't help but also explore and exploit some shades of manipulation, obsession and morality. Ashish is like an animal who has no morality. He just knows what he wants and that was damn interesting for me.
The Inspiration
I am sure I gathered my inspiration from many sources and it is hard to remember or pin-point every source but majorly my childhood memories of learning about Pashi. I learnt about Pashi (traps) in my teens and that was also the time when I had my first few sexual experiences. As a grown up, when I looked back at my experiences, I noticed the 'voice of hormones'. A passionate, irrepressible voice which has the ability to hijack our rationality. It wears the attire of 'love' and sometimes we conveniently call it 'lust' but I think that it is not so simple. At times it is a bit of the two and at other times neither. It is also different for different people. Whatever it may be, I see that it is capable of deceiving both oneself and others. My observations about the 'voice of hormones' inspired me and I wanted to show it through a film.
The Takeaway
I don't know and I don't even expect much on that front to be honest. That thought derails me in some way so I would rather not think about it at all. Especially after completing the film, because all throughout the process, from writing till finalising the edit, it is playing on your mind. Having said that it's always a pleasure to hear from the audience of what they think of the film — good or bad.
Being a Filmmaker in Today’s Times
As a filmmaker, I am still processing this storm to be honest. I do not know if it is a boom or a bane. The speed at which our economy/market is changing is overwhelming and I feel there is still some time before we reach an equilibrium which is beneficial for filmmakers that have an independent voice.
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Text Hansika Lohani Mehtani
Date 31-05-2022